Reading Notes: Chatter (Part 1)

📚 My top highlights and insights

Burnout is no friend to your reading habits. Chronic stress makes it harder to focus on what we’re reading, harder to absorb new information, harder to think critically about its message, and harder to retain any of it long-term.

That’s where Reading Notes comes in. Think of this as Cliff Notes for burnout — if you’re operating at a deficit of time and energy and don’t have it in you to process an entire book, I made the TL;DR version for you.

I’m a sucker for a good neuroscience explainer. Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It, by psychologist Ethan Kross, is one I return to often.

This book is a gently curious exploration of the science behind our internal monologues, interspersed with various tools for managing that pesky inner voice. When I first read it two years ago it helped me to think more kindly about my own negative thought spirals. This winter it’s come in handy for the article I’m researching about the Venn diagram of self-talk, affirmations, toxic positivity, and burnout (as well as for those handy tools). That depth of engagement means my notes for this book are more extensive than for others.

As always, you can join the discussion in the comments or reply to this email.

Introduction

So there I was, trapped — not just in my dark living room, but also in the nightmare of my own mind. Me, a scientist who directs a laboratory that specializes in the study of self-control, an expert on how to tame unrelenting negative thought spirals, staring out the window at three in the morning with a tiny baseball bat in my hands, tortured not by the boogeyman who sent me the deranged letter but by the boogeyman inside my head.

Going Inside

Introspection simply means actively paying attention to one’s own thoughts and feelings. … Many scientists, including myself, see this as one of the central evolutionary advances that distinguishes human beings from other species.

In recent years, a robust body of new research has demonstrated that when we experience distress, engaging in introspection often does significantly more harm than good. … our thoughts too often don’t save us from our thoughts. Instead, they give rise to something insidious.

Chatter consists of the cyclical negative thoughts and emotions that turn our singular capacity for introspection into a curse rather than a blessing. … we introspect, hoping to tap into our inner coach, but find our inner critic instead.

• The wording choice here mirrors an affirmation I wrote for myself a few years ago: “I choose to turn my curses into blessings.”

Our Default State

As a scientist who studies the human mind, I can’t help but note how this well-intentioned message [to “live in the present”] runs counter to our biology. Humans weren’t made to hold fast to the present all the time. That’s just not what our brains evolved to do.

Our Default State: The activity our brain automatically reverts to when not otherwise engaged, and often even when we are otherwise engaged.

• includes mind wandering, “the life of the mind”

Much of the life is the mind. So, what often happens when we slip away? We talk to ourselves. And we listen to what we say.

The inner voice is a basic feature of the mind.

According to one study we internally talk to ourselves at a rate equivalent to speaking four thousand words per minute out loud. To put this in perspective, consider that contemporary American presidents’ State of the Union speeches normally run about six thousand words and last over an hour.

• That’s 320 mental State of the Union addresses per day, Kross notes

However it manifests itself, when the inner voice runs amok and chatter, takes the mental microphone, our mind not only torments but paralyzes us. It can also lead us to do things that sabotage us.

The Puzzle

This inescapable tension of the inner voice as both a helpful superpower and destructive kryptonite that hurts us is what I think of as the great puzzle of the human mind. How can the voice that serves as our best coach also be our worst critic?

• That’s not YOUR voice criticizing though, is it? Whose voice is that?

The key to beating chatter isn’t to stop talking to yourself. The challenge is to figure out how to do so more effectively. Fortunately, both your mind and the world around you are exquisitely designed to help you do precisely that.

• The crux of the entire book; the thesis

Chapter 1: Why We Talk To Ourselves